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We’ve all seen those scenes in movies and TV shows where the mother is pressuring her daughter to have children. Usually, the mother character will guilt her daughter by saying something like, “You’re not getting any younger you know,” or, “All I want is to be a grandmother. Why are you keeping that from me!” […]
We’ve all seen those scenes in movies and TV shows where the mother is pressuring her daughter to have children. Usually, the mother character will guilt her daughter by saying something like, “You’re not getting any younger you know,” or, “All I want is to be a grandmother. Why are you keeping that from me!”
These scenes are always funny. Unless of course, you live these scenes in real life! And sadly, many women do live these scenes on a daily basis. If they’re not getting pressure from their mother about having kids they’re usually getting it from a sister or some of their female friends. But this pressure is far from helpful.
As a therapist, I have heard all kinds of stories about the relationship people have had with their mothers. Now granted, mothers are human beings, and even those that try their very best are going to make some mistakes.
But I have heard more stories than I can count of mothers who seemed to not like being a mother very much at all. I have one client who has shared many heartbreaking stories of his childhood; of his mother who always seemed sad and angry. She was never really “into” playing with him or his two other siblings or spending much time with them. She always made my client feel like she gave up a wonderful life to have children and she regretted it every day.
The truth is, not all women are cut out for motherhood. Some women have it in them and some don’t. There was a time when women didn’t really have a choice but to follow the traditional path and get married and have 2, 3, or more kids. But times have changed and women do have a say now about what kind of life they would like to live.
Pressuring women to fit a specific mold and have children, just because society deems that the “right” life path is simply wrong. All that does is create families who become broken.
Are you “of a certain age” and feeling pressured by friends and family to have children? Do you feel overwhelmed? It can really help to have someone in your corner that can help you decide what is right for you personally. A therapist can help you understand clearly what your needs are. He or she can then help you set up boundaries with others so that your needs are met.
If you’d like to speak with someone, please get in touch with me.
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Infertility is a condition that refers to an inability to become pregnant or to take a baby to term after one year of trying. This is a heartbreaking reality for many women across the globe. In fact, it is estimated that in the United States alone, roughly 6 million women suffer from infertility, according to […]
Infertility is a condition that refers to an inability to become pregnant or to take a baby to term after one year of trying. This is a heartbreaking reality for many women across the globe. In fact, it is estimated that in the United States alone, roughly 6 million women suffer from infertility, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Infertility can be caused by a variety of health issues. The most common is Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which is a hormonal disorder that negatively impacts ovulation.
Other disorders that cause infertility in women are:
And finally, one of the primary reasons for infertility is a woman’s age. Nearly one-third of all women over the age of 35 experience fertility issues.
Infertility and a Woman’s Mental Health
Infertility is a very stressful issue to deal with and it can greatly impact a woman’s mental health. Research published by the North Carolina Medical Journal found that common mental health concerns of fertility patients are symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Patients frequently report that each month’s cycle becomes a tumultuous storm of emotions ranging from anger, sadness, fear, and guilt. And the more demanding and intrusive the fertility treatment protocols become, the greater the emotions felt.
Much focus is given to the physical aspects of not being able to conceive. But it is important for women to recognize that their mental health may be impacted and to get help.
If you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety or depression because of infertility issues, please feel free to reach out to me. I would be happy to discuss treatment options with you.
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