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When we fall in love with our spouses or partners, we never imagine that someday the honeymoon phase might end. We want to believe those Hollywood romantic comedies that make us believe we will “live happily ever after.” The truth is, all couples have their fair share of ups and downs. That’s natural. Healthy relationships […]
When we fall in love with our spouses or partners, we never imagine that someday the honeymoon phase might end. We want to believe those Hollywood romantic comedies that make us believe we will “live happily ever after.”
The truth is, all couples have their fair share of ups and downs. That’s natural. Healthy relationships require a lot of work. But sometimes it can be difficult to do this work when communication has completely broken down and when there is a blatant lack of respect. Enter the Gottman Method.
As a family and relationship counselor, I am always looking for tools and strategies that will help me help my clients. A few years ago, I was introduced to the Gottman Method, and it has changed my entire practice for the better.
Simply put, the goal of the Gottman Method, created by husband and wife therapists Drs. John and Julie Gottman, improve communication and ultimately increases trust, respect, and intimacy. This specific approach to couples counseling integrates research-based interventions and includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship. This assessment is what allows counselors like myself to develop a personalized therapeutic framework to bring about lasting change.
The assessment will show us what your relational strengths and challenges are. From there, I design a special counseling framework that will help you replace negative relationship patterns with positive ones. The work we do together will help you both increase your intimacy and deepen your emotional connection.
The Gottman Method has been successful for couples who are dealing with the following:
If you and your partner have become aware of some big challenges in the relationship, and you’d like some guidance in overcoming those challenges, then please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
Your summer is about to start looking peachier because August is officially National Peach Month! One of my favorite summer memories as a kid was stopping by a fruit stand on the side of the road and getting a small brown paper bag full of juicy, ripe peaches. Back then I just knew peaches were […]
Your summer is about to start looking peachier because August is officially National Peach Month! One of my favorite summer memories as a kid was stopping by a fruit stand on the side of the road and getting a small brown paper bag full of juicy, ripe peaches. Back then I just knew peaches were incredibly delicious. Now, however, I know that these fuzzy stone fruits pack a LOT of health benefits!
Peaches are packed with a lot of beneficial vitamins and minerals. But perhaps more surprising is the amount of antioxidants they contain. Eating fruits and vegetables with antioxidants helps protect you against oxidative damage, which can lead to aging and disease.
Studies have shown that compounds in peaches may bind to your bile acids, which are compounds themselves produced by your liver from cholesterol. These acids, along with the cholesterol they contain, are then excreted through your feces. It is believed that this helps keep your blood serum cholesterol levels low, keeping your heart and vascular system healthy.
The fuzzy skin of the peach contains two specific antioxidants called carotenoids and caffeic acid. These two antioxidants have been shown to have anticancer properties. So be sure to give that peach a good wash and eat the whole thing, skin and all!
Peaches contain compounds that help to suppress the release of histamines in the body. Histamines are released when an allergen triggers your senses and leads to sneezing, itching, and coughing.
Animal studies have shown that compounds in peaches may actually help to prevent blood sugar spikes and insulin resistance. This may mean that while diabetics must be careful with the types of fruit they eat, they can enjoy a peach every once in a while!
These are just a handful of the amazing health benefits offered by the humble, fuzzy peach. So the next time you see a farm stand on the side of the road, go ahead and buy a bag full of peaches and enjoy!
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/peach-fruit-benefits
https://www.health.com/nutrition/health-benefits-peaches
https://www.webmd.com/diet/ss/slideshow-peaches-health-benefits
Many of us have always known that we feel better and calmer when we are around nature or animals. And studies have consistently shown that there is indeed therapeutic value of human-animal interaction. So it’s no surprise that Equine Assisted Therapy has become an increasingly popular mental health treatment. Equine Assisted Therapy is a form of experiential […]
Many of us have always known that we feel better and calmer when we are around nature or animals. And studies have consistently shown that there is indeed therapeutic value of human-animal interaction. So it’s no surprise that Equine Assisted Therapy has become an increasingly popular mental health treatment.
Equine Assisted Therapy is a form of experiential therapy that includes horses and a specialist psychologist or counselor working together with a client to create positive behavioral outcomes and change. Growing evidence now supports the effectiveness of treatment with horses in a therapeutic environment.
Equine-assisted therapy can help clients of all ages who suffer from depression, anxiety, ADHD, conduct disorders, addiction, trauma, eating disorders, spectrum and health difficulties, dissociative disorders, Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, and other mental health difficulties.
There are therapists that have been specifically trained in Equine Assisted Therapy in conjunction with traditional protocols. These therapists guide their clients through a series of activities including observing, handling, grooming, groundwork, and structured challenging exercises focused on the client’s goals and needs.
A variety of psychotherapeutic benefits have been reported for Equine Assisted Therapy. Here are some of them:
The first step in this treatment is to be able to trust the horse and the therapist, and eventually yourself. This trust-building has a profound effect on the client’s interpersonal relationships moving forward.
There has been a lot of research on the ability of human-animal interaction to significantly reduce psychological anxiety and depression.
Everyone’s self-esteem gets a real boost when they challenge themselves to learn and master new skills. This is particularly true of children and adolescence. Equine Assisted Therapy has people trying new things and interacting in new ways in a non-competitive, non-judgmental environment, which leads to improved self-esteem and confidence.
Equine Assisted Therapy integrates mindfulness in a big way. Throughout each session, clients are asked to be present, at the moment, calm, centered, and focused. This is because horses are incredibly sensitive and they pick up other’s emotions very quickly. To be around horses requires the ability to be calm and present.
If you think or someone you know might benefit from Equine Assisted Therapy, please call my office. I would be happy to answer any additional questions you may have and discuss how this approach might help.
SOURCES:
Relationships can enrich our lives, but they can also cause damage. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other, any relationship comes with its share of challenges. And more often than not, putting in the effort to resolve relational issues can and does result in a healthier bond. But there are those relationships that, […]
Relationships can enrich our lives, but they can also cause damage. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other, any relationship comes with its share of challenges. And more often than not, putting in the effort to resolve relational issues can and does result in a healthier bond.
But there are those relationships that, no matter the amount of work and goodwill put into them, will never bring a return on your time or heart investment. These relationships are toxic, and they need to be ended in order for you to heal and move on.
There are More Negative Interactions Than Positive Ones
Every relationship has its good interactions and its not-so-good ones. But there are those relationships that seem like every interaction is tense and filled with negative emotions. When communication becomes difficult or impossible, the relationship is beyond fixing.
Vastly Different Needs
In the beginning of a new friendship or romance, it’s easy to try and compromise with one another, making certain both person’s needs are being met. Over time, some friends or couples realize their needs are too different.
For instance, in a romantic couple, someone may need more sex than the other. Someone may need to always be in control or have a need to lie. These kinds of clashing needs are a red flag for any relationship.
A Blatant Lack of Respect
Respect is essential in relationships. But sometimes there are those individuals that seem incapable of respecting the other person, their needs, their boundaries, their wishes, etc. These people tend to be on the narcissistic spectrum and are incapable of having empathy or respect for others’ needs.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of signs, but these three are some of the most common and problematic signs.
Once you know it is time to end the relationship, you may find that your head and heart waffle back and forth, wondering if you are making the right decision. This is why it’s always a good idea to have someone in your corner you can rely on to give you honest feedback, sound advice, and clarity.
Sometimes you can find this champion in your network of friends and family, but other times it might be best to find a totally neutral third party. Someone you never have to wonder whether they are “just saying that” because they love and care about me.
A therapist can help you navigate your intense emotions and make the best decision for your happiness and peace of mind.
If you are currently struggling in a relationship and would like some help navigating it, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
RESOURCES:
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist. But as human beings, we can never reach a state […]
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.
But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.
Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.
Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.
People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals. Perfectionism also can make the individual feel stress, anxiety, and depression.
Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.
But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.
Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:
Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.
If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to change your behavior so you can live a healthier and happier life.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
As we head into summer, many people are already getting their backyards and patios ready for big family BBQs and holiday get-togethers. Summer is definitely a time for relaxing and having some fun with the people you love most. But the summer holiday get-togethers can be extremely hard to handle when you are grieving the […]
As we head into summer, many people are already getting their backyards and patios ready for big family BBQs and holiday get-togethers. Summer is definitely a time for relaxing and having some fun with the people you love most.
But the summer holiday get-togethers can be extremely hard to handle when you are grieving the recent death of a loved one. Many people aren’t sure how to handle the dichotomy of wanting to be around those they love, and yet feeling the sadness for their loss.
If you are wondering how to deal with your grief during the upcoming summer holidays, here are some tips I hope will help:
Feel Your Pain
Recognize that grieving is an important part of healing. Stuffing your feelings down will only prolong your grief. If your instinct is to avoid all get-togethers in an effort to not feel your pain, you may want to rethink your decision.
Choose Wisely
While you shouldn’t completely avoid being social with your loved ones, you don’t have to attend every summertime get-together. Choose the events that you think you can handle and say “no” to the ones that may bring you to a very dark place. Be firm with loved ones who may try and convince you to attend, thinking it will be good for you. Ultimately, you are the only one who knows how you feel and what you can handle.
Have an Escape Plan
Be sure to drive yourself to the event if you can so you can leave when you want or need. If you must get a ride, try to get one with someone who will take you home when you need to go. You may also want to download the Uber or Lyft app as another option.
Honor Your Loved One
Find new ways to keep the memory of your loved one alive during the summer holidays. You could make their favorite dish or baked item to bring to the BBQ. You could also light and release sky lanterns. Creating unique ways to memorialize your loved one will help you keep their memory with you during this time.
It may also help to speak with someone over the summer months. A therapist can offer tools to cope as well as guide you along your grieving path to wellness. If you’re interested in treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods. The trouble is, these foods are […]
Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods.
The trouble is, these foods are only a temporary fix. They fill a void, and in the case of sugar, give our mood a boost. But then we come crashing down again and may even experience shame and guilt for having binged on food we know is not good for us. This can lead to a vicious cycle of more emotions, more eating, more emotions, more eating. This cycle can ultimately lead to weight gain and even the development of certain chronic diseases like heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
We are what we eat is a very true sentiment, especially when it comes to our brain. When life throws us challenges, we need our brain to work optimally so we can figure out the best way to deal with our circumstances or to process emotions. The trouble with reaching for comfort foods is, they are actually harmful to your brain.
Think of your brain like the engine in a car. You wouldn’t put frozen lattes in your gas tank because you know your car needs the right kind of fuel to run well. Your brain also needs the right kind of fuel. Your brain requires high-quality foods that are loaded with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. These nutrients nourish your brain and protect it from oxidative stress.
Did you know that studies have shown a direct link between a diet high in refined sugars and impaired brain function? And even a worsening of symptoms such as depression?
The bottom line is, while your instinct in the moment may be to reach for those processed comfort foods, do your best to make better food choices. It will be hard at first, but good habits can be formed over time. Your brain will thank you.
SOURCES:
For a year now, most of us have been unhappy with living a life in quarantine, wondering when the world would finally get back to normal. With vaccines rolling out and most towns and cities reaching herd immunity, society is beginning to open back up. Now if you are like some Americans, part of you […]
For a year now, most of us have been unhappy with living a life in quarantine, wondering when the world would finally get back to normal. With vaccines rolling out and most towns and cities reaching herd immunity, society is beginning to open back up.
Now if you are like some Americans, part of you is happy for life to return to normal, and another part of you is experiencing what some psychologists call “re-entry anxiety.” According to a report from the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly 50% of Americans have expressed that they feel some anxiety regarding resuming in-person interactions post-pandemic.
Mental health experts have suggested there are two groups of people that will most likely experience re-entry anxiety. One of those groups is people who have a lingering fear that they will either catch or help to spread the disease or the new strains of COVID that seem to be cropping up.
The second group are people who feel their social skills have withered while quarantined and may find being around a lot of people and holding their end of the conversation to be very awkward, exhausting and challenging.
It’s important to mention that while you may be feeling anxious about re-entry into society, avoiding social situations will only make your anxiety worse. In fact, experts agree the longer you avoid the thing that makes you anxious, the harder it will be to face it.
What may help is to set small goals for yourself. For instance, you may want to set up small get-togethers with one or two others to start. Don’t feel the need to jump in the deep end right away, slowly acclimatize yourself to start.
We’ve all got to remember that we’ve faced a big trauma this past year and we must be gentle with ourselves. Life will feel normal once again. Until then, do the best you can do and ask for help when you need it.
Speaking with a trained therapist can be highly effective for people dealing with stress and anxiety. A therapist can help you navigate your emotions and offer tools to move through the anxiety.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
RESOURCES:
As a therapist, I often have a front row seat to relationship miracles. Well, okay, there are no miracles really. The fact is “fixing” a relationship takes work. It takes two people wanting it to work and then putting in the effort. Having said that, I have seen couples go from nearly ending it to being back in […]
As a therapist, I often have a front row seat to relationship miracles. Well, okay, there are no miracles really. The fact is “fixing” a relationship takes work. It takes two people wanting it to work and then putting in the effort.
Having said that, I have seen couples go from nearly ending it to being back in love, and liking and respecting each other.
Couples therapy can be a powerful change agent, there is no doubt about it. But what allows some couples to make it while others don’t? The couples I have seen recover from marital issues and form an even stronger union have all had certain things in common.
Here are some ways you and your partner can get the most out of couples therapy and set yourselves up for success.
Many couples view therapy as a last-ditch effort, which makes it all the more important to go all-in and commit to the process entirely. And even if therapy is your first attempt to salvage the relationship, it’s important that both parties give it their best effort.
This means even if nothing else has worked, and even if you’re both at each other’s throats most of the time, you leave any Bottom of Form defensiveness, criticism, contempt, or stonewalling at the door. These will only impede any progress that may be made.
It’s common to be skeptical of therapy if you have no experience with it. It’s also common to feel skeptical that your particular problems or issues are too big to be overcome. While there are no guarantees in life, my professional experience has shown me that most relationship issues are solvable. But if you believe that they aren’t, you’re setting yourself up for failure right at the outset.
Real change requires an open mind.
You don’t spend money and time on college to NOT do any of your homework. The same goes for couples therapy!
During your sessions, your therapist will help facilitate respectful and effective communication and give you tools to get the same results at home. But it is up to YOU to use these tools at home.
Your relationship will not be “fixed” every Tuesday from 4:15 to 5:00 pm, it will be fixed from the work you both do on your own time. The point of therapy is to learn how to navigate obstacles and conflict as they arise in everyday life outside of the therapist’s office.
Couples therapy is a wonderful resource that helps many couples overcome challenges. If you’re willing to commit to the process, have an open mind, and do the homework, you and your partner have an excellent chance of creating a healthy and respectful relationship.
If you are looking for a couple’s therapist, I’d be happy to speak with you. Let’s talk and see if I might be a good fit for the both of you.
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder that results in repetitive behaviors, social interaction and communication challenges, as well as challenges with sensory processing. The word “spectrum” is aptly used to reflect that symptoms can vary greatly, from mild to severe, across different individuals. In a study by the Centers for Disease Control and […]
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder that results in repetitive behaviors, social interaction and communication challenges, as well as challenges with sensory processing. The word “spectrum” is aptly used to reflect that symptoms can vary greatly, from mild to severe, across different individuals.
In a study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 59 U.S. children were identified as having ASD. The earlier the disorder is diagnosed, the sooner a child can be helped through treatment interventions.
The symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder include:
As stated earlier, it’s important that ASD be diagnosed as early as possible to reduce the symptoms of autism and improve the child’s quality of life. There is no medical test for autism. Instead, diagnosis is based on observing the child. Trained professionals are usually able to diagnose autism by speaking with the child and asking questions of parents and other caregivers.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children be screened for developmental disorders before the age of three. Under federal law, any child that is suspected of having a developmental disorder is able to get a free evaluation.
Here are some possible red flags for autism spectrum disorder that the Centers for Disease Control has identified:
If your infant or toddler has shown any of these symptoms and you have concerns about their development, it’s important that you bring them to your family physician for evaluation. While there is no cure for Autism Spectrum Disorder, there are different styles of behavioral therapy that can lesson symptoms and improve the child and their family’s quality of life.
SOURCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/autism-spectrum-disorder
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/autism/what-is-autism-spectrum-disorder
